| feliz cumpleanoz a mi.. |
[10 Mar 2005|08:06pm] |
wow, sixteen years. amazing how time flies. even more amazing how i still have so many years left. life excites me. a bunch of people told me happy birthday, a few forgot and a few remembered and a few i was hoping would never find out [cough senora]
[cough thanks lauren and lisa :-P]
i got a bunch of hugs and smiles, an awesome card, skittles, three dollars (oh man!), friends season six (quite possibly my favourite season [..yes, favourite]), some songs, a few phone calls!, and a love note.
i pretended that the food party after school was for me, even though it wasn't. :)
kristin called and it kind of made my day. we spent an hour or so talking about the most random things and it was just so natural. i really do miss her, it's always so much fun when we get together.
i guess this means i should take down all of my last year's birthday cards.
i was in the car at 4:28 coming home from school. that's where i turned sixteen.
here's to another beautiful year!
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[08 Mar 2005|07:40pm] |
oh, OKAY. now i see it. there we go. it's a test, isn't it? i mean, one tries to start the year with a good attitude. a nice, positive outlook. so you throw the most absolutely horrible obstacle in their way, and expect them to clear it within the ridiculously short time frame given to them. now it makes sense. alright. i accept your challenge. let's go.
and it's not supposed to snow in march.
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| never wearing makeup ever again. ever. |
[22 Feb 2005|07:30pm] |
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went to poo's house and we played dress-up dix hills style. meaning they washed/blowdried/straightened my already straight hair and then put a bunch of make-up goo on my face. lotsa fun, actually. happy vacation!
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| when life hands you lemons..suck them |
[17 Feb 2005|12:04am] |
oh, [eighth grade] memories.
i went outside with leo yesterday after school for a walk. a walk with no purpose, and it was fun, just like he promised. we walked around the school on that little pathway and then through the mud [gross] and eventually made it past the lava to the swingset. and talked and laughed and it was nice. you know, nice as in amazing.
and then i come back and find out that my mom didn't get my voicemail and was waiting for twenty minutes because my brother had cello lessons, so i was yelled at in the car for the entire five-minute [thank goodness] ride home.
don't you just HATE it when that happens?
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[14 Feb 2005|07:21pm] |
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happy lotsa chocolate day
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| no, nothing happened. it's the research-y science nerd in me who finds it interesting |
[10 Feb 2005|04:50pm] |
There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
— C. S. Lewis
http://www.newsday.com/news/health/bal-te.love10feb10,0,3296285.story?coll=ny-leadhealthnews-headlines
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[04 Feb 2005|11:00pm] |
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i guess it's times like these when you can't help but love your friends.
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| still smiling! |
[19 Jan 2005|04:04pm] |
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kay so i had an entry but i deleted it because this is better. :)
when melissa came over a while ago we had this [extremely funny] conversation about how we first met people and how they reacted to us. you know. your first impressions. needless to say, some were hillarious, and the ones that weren't..well, we didn't really talk about those.
so we're interested in you sharing what you remember to be your first encounter with each of us. how you and i met and became friends. you know. a favorite memory. anything. you may think it's silly, but then again it probably is.
humor us.
besos!
ana[stacy]
(and melissa: cake_qrrl)
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| looks like i picked a bad time to stop checking the pH level.. |
[09 Jan 2005|03:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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twentytwohours |
] |
the sparkly fish died the other day.
savas found him upside down in the tank, gills not moving, but he wasnt floating at the top either. i didn't see him. dead fish and i don't get along very well. but it was our 'psycho' fish: the one who if you waved your hand on one side of the tank it would swim full speed into the other and bang against the wall. my brother refused to let my parents..uh..dispose[?] of it, and instead forced them outside to have a little burial. i'm not THAT upset, because after all it wasn't my green fish or anything [sob] but apparently it mattered to savas. he gets so attached to everything. he cried for a good twenty minutes and only stopped when i read captain underpants to him in an english accent and high pitched funny voices.
i wish someone would do something like that for me when i'm upset.
------------------------------------------
dying is fine)but Death
?o
baby
i
wouldn't like
Death if Death
were
good:for
when(instead of stopping to think)you
begin to feel of it,dying
's miraculous
why?be
cause dying is
perfectly natural;perfectly
putting
it mildly lively(but
Death
is strictly
scientific
& artificial &
evil & legal)
we thank thee
god
almighty for dying
(forgive us,o life!the sin of Death
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| me me me! |
[08 Jan 2005|07:27pm] |
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mood |
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! |
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matt was the first person i EVER let play on any of my video game files, because i never let anyone play on my file (ocd, ocd!) and we got pretty close to beating a few. so i'm going to go erase my mario 64 file and start it over again. because i want to get those stars myself. and see if i can. all by myself! me! i think i got about sixty by the time we started playing together. and now i have either eighty or ninety something. it's alright, i love a challenge.
[and i got walked to math]
:)
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| A Necessity for Watchfulness |
[03 Jan 2005|10:14pm] |
"But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. For as the days of Noah were, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark, and they knew nothing until the flood came and swept them all away, so too will be the coming of the Son of Man. Then two will be in the field; one will be taken and one will be left behind. Two women will be grinding meal together; one will be taken and one will be left behind. Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But understand this: if the owner of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into, Therefore you must also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour.
matthew 24:36
on sunday my class had a huge discussion about the tsunamis and about God and death and the apocalypse. and think of the stories. a mother made to choose between two children. which to save?! i'm feeling sick. who chooses the people who die and the ones that stay? and why are we left behind? i have lived almost sixteen more years than any baby who has been killed at birth. and why? why have i been given that extra time and what have i done with it?! nothing?!? how messed up. the people who do nothing with their lives, the ones who waste them, are the ones who make me want to cry. everyone is here for a reason. for the five people you meet in heaven. go DO something. smile at someone. brighten their day. visit a hospital, visit a jail! its not so often that people THERE get any visitors. dont they miss their families? there's so much to do and i fear that i dont have enough time. it left me very thoughtful. read the passage, leave your thoughts.
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| new year resolutions are for losers.. |
[01 Jan 2005|07:23am] |
so you wanna read mine?
i haven't given much thought as to what i want to do differently this year. what else is there to do? i want to be more active. interpret that as you like [tontos]. i want to stop pollution and war and world hunger and injustice. i want to save the world. i want to take at least fivethousand steps every day. i want to get good grades and work hard and go insane and crazy and just be happy about everything that's stressing me out and everything that i love about it. i want to meet new people, i want to make new friends. i want to start relationships that'll last a lifetime and create memories that i'll be able to cherish until i die. i want to find a cure for cancer. i want to work with mental disorders like schizophrenia, and i want to travel the world, sail across the ocean, and go whale watching and on a rollercoaster and camp out in the woods late at night.
i want to learn how to walk on my hands!
it's been a good year. i've grown. i know i have. i mean, i haven't gotten any taller [shutup you] , but i think my age is starting to catch up to me. life is alright. life is lovely. life is beautful and when im really happy i can say i am too. because at those times i feel beautiful and i see everything in a whole new way. a new light, a new perspective. i've lost some old friends and i've made new ones that i love and love me. i found my lucky coin. ive changed my gym clothes and my voicemail and my screen name and im ready, twothousand five.
:)
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[20 Dec 2004|04:35pm] |
savas just asked me what the difference is between being dead and unconscious and i couldn't explain it to him. and then he asked what anethesia means and what 'putting someone to sleep' means also. i couldnt explain that either. what IS the difference? what IS sleep? or consciousness? i want to know. so badly. someone explain it to me. im going crazy.
leo says the only way i can get into heaven is if i die on my birthday. otherwise, every saturday im going to hell. i found my last years math binder and agenda book. there isnt a single page without his writing on it. o leo. i miss lunch so much.
tina's home, and i went over yesterday and she gave me a bunch of sweatshirts and some pants. a dress and binders, index cards, dividers, and some hard boiled eggs. more teens are using steriods now for looks rather than athletic performance.
i think we should use parenthesis more often. i mean think of it. for example, take the phrase 'nothing is impossible':
1. (nothing) is impossible -as in the concept of nothingness in itself is impossible
2. nothing is (impossible) -as in 'no one thing' is impossible
other languages make so much more sense. i want to move somewhere where they speak another language.
if one more person touches my bangs i will bite their fingers off.
sometimes i consider myself a rational person. i mean sure, my room is disgustingly gross and yet if one person writes on my notes i will freak out. i need them perfect. i need SOME stability in my life, dont you think? my schoolwork is the one thing i can control. im reorganizing my entire math and chemistry binders. alright, mayhap i have some minor form of OCD because yes, john and jason wrote on my math homework and now i have to re-copy the entire thing. but come on. the bangs thing? i think it's understandable.
leavemealone.
my mom just presented me with The Columbia University College of Physics and Surgeons Complete Home Medical Guide. i think im in love. no, never mind. i think not.
::vanishes in a puff of logic::
im so indecisive.
'The "good coper" almost immediately seeks human attachment, perhaps of a transient nature, to guide his or her priorities and to clarify options'
that is how they use quotations in lotr. i actually prefer them that way. i think im at the point where i can begin to experiment with grammar. its like how when you finally know the rules to something, thats when you can change them to fit your style. kind of like in 'all american girl', and kind of like the quote i wrote on matt's card for valentines' day. the rules dont change. but i know them now, so i can choose to use 'em or not. i feel like aunt josephine. YOU know, [teacher] the one from series of unfortunate events.
sex difficulties are 39 points on the stress chart.
but it doesnt mention breakups or the moving of a best friend now, does it?
nopes. doesnt.
my godmother sent me a bracelet for christmas..in bubble wrap! i mean, the bubble wrap would have been enough by itself but the bracelet is cool too. it's so pretty. oh man.
in conclusion, the naming of cats is a difficult matter, and i would rather (dance than talk with) you.
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[05 Dec 2004|03:23pm] |
ive been re-reading my old books recently. they give me a sense of comfort that i guess no one else can. i mean, i know some people cant understand why i would rather sit on a couch and read rather than go to a party, but i dunno. i like it. so there. i love how i can make connections bewteen things and how my imagination can just work and think of anything and the poetry mixed with prose.
like how when matt was telling me about a man who was experimented upon..and when the doctors touched specific parts of his brain he could remember things that he only saw once when he was young, and could remember everything perfectly. who cares if its true or not. it's like proginoskes kything to meg. and she didnt see her fathers formula but it was there. and he showed it to her. and i didnt tell matt that during his story because it was my own little secret. making that connection. and then it got me thinking about photgraphic memories. but kything is way cooler. i wish i had a calvin to kythe with. to be with.
a renny. an adam. no zachary, please. but rather..a michael moscovitz. a david. a char! dont tell me you dont know him. and what do YOU think? dave the laugh or the sex god?
hmm..
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| oh oh oh. |
[10 Nov 2004|07:04pm] |
She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music.
She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.
...She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew.
mica, arizona
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[03 Nov 2004|03:30pm] |
so i organize my life by my lotr calendar (which gina gave me, thankyouverymuch). if theres a good picture then its a good day. if theres a bad picture then there will be a bad day.
today there's a wonderful picture of aragorn and arwen and it pretty much sums up my life at the moment.
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| pessimistic people bother me. |
[02 Nov 2004|09:56pm] |
KABMX225 (9:45:43 PM): i mean i could be wrong, im not perfect
Nastazi310 (9:46:10 PM): no one is
KABMX225 (9:49:37 PM): you know
Nastazi310 (9:49:46 PM): i do?
KABMX225 (9:49:46 PM): your wrong
KABMX225 (9:49:50 PM): because
Nastazi310 (9:49:50 PM): oh
KABMX225 (9:49:55 PM): perfect doesnt exist
KABMX225 (9:49:57 PM): its an idea
KABMX225 (9:50:00 PM): a concept
KABMX225 (9:50:05 PM): its an impossibility
KABMX225 (9:50:18 PM): its something based on perspective
KABMX225 (9:50:37 PM): so no one can be not perfect either, it just doesnt apply at all
KABMX225 (9:50:39 PM): case closed
KABMX225 (9:50:40 PM): i win
KABMX225 (9:50:42 PM): you lose
KABMX225 (9:50:44 PM): go die
Nastazi310 (9:51:07 PM): you're so philosophical when you're not cursing people out
KABMX225 (9:51:14 PM): ehhh
KABMX225 (9:51:16 PM): fuck you
talking to brandon makes me happy.
i went to dubs' house today. i had fun. and i learned what texture was.
today i taught savas how to think 'outside the box'. and he embraced it and advanced in paper mario 2. i love my little brother.
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